Ive been w/the same guy for over 7 years, almost 8. We also have a 5 year old together, whom is going to be the 1 they%26#039;ll suffer the most if i do leave. So do I, do i leave a man who never shows me in any way that he cares about me except when he wants sex, then he does a complete turn around %26amp; is the nicest guy. When he%26#039;s not, he is dis-respectful %26amp; he can be so dam cold! He doesn%26#039;t do anything with his son except play ******* video games w/him %26amp; when their doing that it seems like he%26#039;s yelling at our son for not playing the game right. He also gives our son rides on the love of his life (at he time) his go-cart, which he literally works on 24-7. All day %26amp; night he%26#039;s f**king around w/that go-cart. He doesn%26#039;t do anything with me or our son together as a family, EVER!! He doesn%26#039;t even barley spend holidays w/us. He doesn%26#039;t ever take us anywhere, we never do anything fun. My folks have bought every single piece of clothing my son has ever had! %26amp; so much more! But ofcorse he doesn%26#039;t acknowledge any of it! My folks have helped us out SO much %26amp; he acts like its nothing! I don%26#039;t even know if he%26#039;s ever even thanked them, for anything! He is a mean man with major anger issues that he denies. Yes he has hit me, %26amp; i told myself i would Leave him if it ever happened again, this last time was the worst %26amp; yet i still stayed! I don%26#039;t know why %26amp; I hate myself for not being stronger but he%26#039;s got a hold over me that i cant explain. The few times he%26#039;s given me something (out of no where) he always took them back, other than that he never has given me flowers not even a card on our anniversary, all 7 of %26#039;em! ! Actually he%26#039;s given me 3 things for my bday %26amp; xmas that i was able to keep %26amp; all 3 were the same thing - a gift card, from the same store. Anything else he has given me he ended up taking back with out me knowing %26amp; sold whatever it was, spending the money on himself! He thinks im so ungrateful since he pays the rent with money that he doesn%26#039;t have to do **** for! He doesn%26#039;t have a real job %26amp; what he does do is nothing to be proud of! He blows hundreds of dollars on himself %26amp; his toys yet he cant even give me 200.00 for groceries. when I ask him for gas money, which he drives my truck whenever the hell he wants, he gets all pissy! I cook for this man everyday, i do his laundry %26amp; im always cleaning up after him because he doesn%26#039;t do a dam thing around the house, He doesn%26#039;t even throw his trash in the trash can, He%26#039;s gotten so many parking tickets while driving my truck, that i have credit agency%26#039;s after me now since he refuses to pay them! he%26#039;s gotten us evicted or we were told to leave almost every place we%26#039;ve ever lived. He has literally almost ruined me 7 my life so why the **** cant i walk away? I know i need to leave him for the sake of my son but i don%26#039;t have anyway, any money to do it! I feel stuck %26amp; strapped down without having any strength to brake free! I love the man he was when we 1st started seeing each other, but he%26#039;s long gone %26amp; I know this. I guess i was just hoping i was wrong %26amp; that he would change but they never change, do they?? I know my son is going to hate me when we do leave because he wont understand, the thought of that scares me to death! My son is all i have %26amp; for him to hate me will just make it that much harder!! So please can anyone give me an answer ? can anyone give me any kind of hope? Im scared %26amp; I don%26#039;t know if i have it in me, pathetic isn%26#039;t it? %26amp; to those of u who are ready to insult me in anyway for being weak, just remember u haven%26#039;t walked in my shoes, u have no idea how ive lived my life so don%26#039;t say shitty things please, why would u want to shove someone down in the dirt who is trying to find away out of her situation!Why cant i walk away?I won%26#039;t insult you for being weak, but your boy is 5. Your parents obviously love their grandson, so if I were you, and everything you said is true, I%26#039;d ask your parents if they would provide somehow for a shelter for the boy for a couple of months while you file for divorce. You need to find a place to be also, that%26#039;s stable, even if it%26#039;s with your parents. A non drinking or druggie friend would be ok too. But only send your son with your parents, or the state will take him. As soon as you send him to your parent%26#039;s place, then go to the court the same day and file for divorce and full custody. If he hit you before, he%26#039;ll definately do it when you do this, so you can set it up where you have a witness, webcams work good, neighbors are even better, run outside, so you have witnesses. Tell a neighbor ahead of time. If you are not a drinker or druggie, you can get full custody, and state protection. If you have been arrested in the last 5 years, (the age of your child) then you probably are screwed. Go on my profile, and write to me. I will help you all I can. I got custody of my 2 y/o daughter back in %26#039;82, so I%26#039;m somewhat experienced at this stuff. Back then it was very rare for a man to get custody of his daughter. Her mom was doing what your husband is doing now, so maybe I can help. It%26#039;s really not about you or your husband, it%26#039;s all about your kid.
Please don%26#039;t give me the points, I didn%26#039;t answer this for the attention, I am concerned about you and you son. Give the ten points to someone else.Why cant i walk away?I am truly sorry for your situation. I%26#039;m a father and I don%26#039;t know why anyone would rather play with a go-cart than my kids, but who knows what%26#039;s going on in his head. My mother in law is in your shoes. She%26#039;s been with my father in law for over 40 years and she%26#039;s been miserable everyday of her life. She wouldn%26#039;t leave because of the kids, money, no family support, and she has no self worth. Let me say first of all hubby needs to do with out for a little while. Tell your parents to stop helping you with money, if he doesn%26#039;t have a job how is he in control of the money? The sex issue needs to be talked about and fast you shouldn%26#039;t have to suffer for his needs you have needs also and I know our needs (husbands and wives) are different. Maybe he doesn%26#039;t know that. Start getting involved with the go-cart maybe, ask questions about it, ride it with him and your son, do some research about the motor. If he doesn%26#039;t seem to want to be involved it%26#039;s maybe because he doesn%26#039;t know how. Let me say guys are pretty dumb for the most part we need a lot of training you just have to make it seem like we made ourselves smarter while you hold the puppet strings. Don%26#039;t make threats to him and promises to yourself that don%26#039;t get made. If you keep doing it things will never change. Life is hard and some times you have to hit it just as hard as it%26#039;s hit you. I have discovered the power of Oprah after fighting her for years she has won and wow what a new world I live in. We can change I promise we just need the right strings to be pulled for us. I hope you find one thing in here that might help you along the way.
